he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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