They should really pass out barf bags in church
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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