You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
