drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize