she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
