; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
