O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
