well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
