i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
