Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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