okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
