i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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