just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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