I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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