i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sober January is a disaster.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
