who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
