Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
