Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
