I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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