If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
