I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Vodka?
Forever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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