jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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