ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
