It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize