I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
