accomplished twins. life is a go
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
