im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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