she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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