Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
