like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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