Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dick has a subreddit
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
