his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
