i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
