and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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