i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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