how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
