I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize