so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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