haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
