I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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