She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
