I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize