My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize