we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
