Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
