Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
