Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
