Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
