in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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