i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
