I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
