Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We are two peas in an std pod
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
