I CAN MOONWALK!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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