dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
