he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
