I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
