When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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