girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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