I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize