There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
